The movie Hatchet, written and directed by Adam Green and set in Louisiana’s bayou (during Mardi Gras) is about a GROTESQUE LOOKING homicidal maniac named Victor Crowley, portrayed by Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th) who goes on a killing spree for reasons I thought, from a story development standpoint were implausible. After all we’re talking Hollywood here, so who needs a reason (a plausible one that is, or at least one that we the audience is willing to accept as plausible) to rip a man’s spine from his body while he lies on his stomach screaming in agony?
Not a bad way to start a movie though. Evidently, that’s what Adam Green thought. As our story begins a man and his father are in a fishing boat in what looked like a secluded area when the man stands up and begins relieving himself into the water. His father, played by the great Robert Englund takes issue with his son’s sudden “call to nature”. The son then asks if they can pull the boat over so he could finish. Upon doing so the son goes off to finish “his business”, leaving his father alone.
He then returns to discover his father lying of the ground literally beside himself. The man had been SAVAGELY mutilated including decapitation. The son as you would imagine screams in absolute horror. The killer then appears, knocks the son to the ground and proceeds to FILLET him (tearing his spine from his body) after which he SEVERS the man’s lower body from his upper torso, using nothing but his bare hands, all while the man SCREAMS in absolute agony. My mouth literally was agape when I saw this.
When a horror movie begins with such a SAVAGE display of stomach churning HOMICIDAL MANIA, one thing is certain, each subsequent killing (if there is to be any more) must be worse than those previously shown and that is exactly what happens in this movie. So knowing this I on one hand, knew I was in for a hell of a ride. But on the other hand what I wasn’t able to gather from the opening was whether that ride would be a good one.
In my opinion, I would have to say that Hatchet is not very good movie. But honestly how many horror movies have that distinction? Adam Green does however try to give it his best shot, for one he chooses a great title for the movie, and a good location that together (for whatever its worth) make for a great movie poster. He then looks to firmly affix his leading character Victor Crowley in our collective consciousness in the same way some of the other horror movie icons have come to reside.
What I did however like about this movie was the director’s decision to cast three of the genre’s great actors in various roles, paying homage not only to the actors themselves, but also some of the roles to which they made famous. As we mentioned Kane Hodder plays the “GENETICALLY CHALLENGED” Victory Crowley. Tony Todd (of Candy Man fame) had a very small cameo appearance along with the aforementioned Robert Englund who consistently amazes me with the depth and breath of his acting ability.
And now for the reasons I didn’t care for this movie.
Even though Victor Crowley was said (in the movie) to be born severely disfigured he was way too ugly, at least for my taste. I know what you’re thinking. Where is it written that the killer in any movie, horror movie or otherwise should be pleasing to the eye? And you’re right. But have you seen this guy? He looks like a lab experiment gone wrong. If there was any truth to the saying “if looks could kill”, even in a horror flick where there is no shortage of killing (at least not in this one), one look from this guy would be all it would take.
One mistake (in judgment) I believe that the director made was his decision to include a specific character in the movie that we’ve all seen in many dramatic situations before, regardless of the type of movie. You know the character that has become a cliché? The character to which I make reference to in Hatchet is a female character that happens to be blond, and oh by the way is DUMB as dishwater, which is no exaggeration. Its no way you can watch this movie and not be absolutely dumbfounded by what comes out of this woman’s mouth.
I also didn’t care too much for any of the other central characters or their dialogue as well. One character played by Dione Richmond, apparently cast to provide a comedic element, was at times comical and at most irritating. Richmond clearly inserted, as the “token black”, in my opinion, was not needed in this movie.
If I were to compare Hatchet with some other horror movies that I’ve seen, I would have to give it an average rating. But as for you, if you like seeing BLOOD and when I say blood I mean COPIOUS amounts of it together with a heaping helping of T-N-A thrown in for good measure, and aren’t too terribly turned off at the sight of the occasional poor attempt by the director in portraying blood splatter that looked as if the blood was thrown up against a tree then this movie is for you.
Hatchet is without a doubt one of the most bloodiest “Slasher” films to date. And from what I hear the body bag count will only grow in the next installment.
Sidney R. Shannon, is a screenwriter, published author and the owner/creator of http://scarymoviemania.blogspot.com. If you would like to copy and distribute this article through out the internet you may do so as long as the content and its link remain untouched. Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved.
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