UFO Secret Report

What kind of channel is the History Channel anyway?

I was watching TV and I wanted to see something educational so I put on the history channel. At first I thought I was watching a special on Egypt, but it was actually the worst thing I have ever seen on TV. Why? Here are some reasons:

1.According to the history channel, the pyramids are not the burial place of pharaohs. Instead, they are ancient chemical reactors that produce hydrogen gas which fuel microwaves to be sent into outer space.
2.No human had enough technology to build a pyramid, so aliens helped the humans.
3.Torches don’t get enough oxygen inside pyramids, so Egyptians discovered electricity and made light bulbs to light up the pyramids.
4.Obelisks are not what they seem to be either. They are actually giant electricity conducting tesla coils which send electricity all over the world.
5.The Israelites who left Egypt were able to survive with the help of the Holy Grail, a type of manna machine. A manna machine is a nuclear powered reactor that fits in a box and uses its energy to speed the growth of super algae which contain enough nutrients for people to survive by eating it and not any other food.
6.The Mayans vanished unexpectedly, so the only way to explain this is that they were actually aliens and flew away to another planet.

I’m sure there is a lot more that I have forgotten to write down, but I don’t have enough concentration.

Now, here are the two reasons I came up with for why this is on TV:

1.Aliens did actually come to earth and everything the History Channel is saying is true.
2.People find history so boring that the only way to get viewers is to invent their own history. <–(Please believe this one. If I see anyone agreeing with the first one, I would be really upset)